Familiar or unfamiliar challenges

If there is one pivotal thing that has allowed me to shift, it is something a close friend of mine mentioned to me recently: regardless of whether something is familiar or not, the challenge will still be difficult to confront; we just need to choose which type of difficulty we want to face. Often, the reason we stick to certain patterned behaviors is that we are in a situation we know well. We assume we know the outcome, and we already have expectations about our reactions as well as those of the other party or the overall situation. However, what if we face a situation we have not encountered before? We may jump to conclusions, assuming we will face the same challenges that are difficult in a different scenario. If that is the case, we are expecting the worst, limiting ourselves from the possibility of things actually being different.

I think the main reason we choose familiarity is the discomfort of change. Change is only scary because of the sense of unfamiliarity we experience. It is not to say we will always be in situations that are exactly the same, but we might feel more prepared to face them. Yet, living like this keeps us in survival mode. We go through life avoiding change because we have learned to survive. But what if, instead of continuously surviving, we begin to live? The essence of truly living is experiencing situations that may feel uncomfortable, that differ from our norm, and that are distinct from what we are accustomed to—let's call it unfamiliarity. If we do not allow ourselves to genuinely experience life, with its changes, challenges, and unforeseen opportunities, we risk blocking ourselves from the growth we need to continue expanding and becoming more of who we are. Stagnation is easy; it is comfortable, notwithstanding the difficulties posed by our patterns. Learning to unlearn these reactions and shifting into who we are—trusting ourselves in the face of new challenges and situations—enables us to have more confidence in ourselves.

For instance, I have been recently challenged by the acceptance that people will not treat us the same way others have. As simple as it may sound, the memory of past experiences limits us in accepting or embracing the fact that a different outcome is possible. But that possibility comes with trust: trusting that we will not react the same way we did in the past because we have grown from those experiences, and knowing we have the choice to break a pattern because of our awareness. However, this awareness can sometimes hinder us from fully experiencing a moment, as it may be our old selves causing caution and blockages out of fear that it will happen again or that it is beyond our control.

So, how can we shift this patterned reaction of dealing with familiar challenges? I believe we can start by accepting the pattern itself. We can also learn how to approach a situation differently, as scary as that may be. Additionally, we need to allow ourselves to manage our reactions without immediately jumping to conclusions about how the outcome will unfold. Ultimately, it narrows down to choosing the challenges we face: the familiar or the unfamiliar ones, and recognizing our power to approach these challenges by trusting ourselves, regardless of the outcome. We should not bring past experiences into the present, as this can limit or block us from the opportunities we deserve.

Z.