From Survival to Living: Moving Beyond Just Getting By

There is something profound that tends to occur when we face challenging situations repeatedly, even though we did not invite them into our lives. (When I refer to difficult or challenging situations, I mean those experiences that are genuinely hurtful or harmful to our overall well-being and mental state—not merely tasks from work or chores that we need to complete.) We often discover a pattern in our behavior as we seek plausible solutions or outcomes, whether to prevent another difficult situation from arising or to learn how to manage our emotions when faced with future challenges. I believe that these two behaviors are natural, but they should be used for our benefit in living fully rather than merely surviving. 

But what does it truly mean to survive, and what does it mean to live? When I first encountered the concept of survival in my own life, I was amazed by its implications. I thought I was simply meant to navigate through life, addressing one challenge after another. I believed that over time, I would either become accustomed to it, numb myself to the emotions that arose, or avoid acknowledging that there might be alternatives to facing each challenge head-on. I grew accustomed to evading the reality of my situation, seeking escapes that compensated for my dissatisfaction with the life I was leading. However, when I confronted the idea of survival, I found myself questioning many aspects of my existence. I realized I had no clear understanding of what I valued in life or what principles were guiding me to live in alignment with my true self. I had yet to accept that the possibilities in life are endless and that we possess the freedom to choose our paths. This realization was a tremendous relief, but it also introduced another unexpected challenge. 

After feeling lighter from recognizing the underlying issue—accepting that I needed to make a change—I gained the freedom to start making choices that resonated with my true self. However, this new approach to life opened the door to different opportunities, many of which felt good. Yet, despite how positive they were, they didn’t feel normal to me because I had conditioned myself to survive. I discovered that this form of survival was, in essence, a choice to suffer, even if that meant numbing myself and believing that by doing so, I could avoid suffering while merely going through the motions of life without being fully present. 

Gradually, I began to take steps forward, such as identifying the roots of my triggers and understanding my reactions. I started to write extensively, taking note of these patterns of behavior. I realized that my choices were not solely about how I behaved but also about what I allowed into my life; questioning what I was willing to accept and keep or accept and let go. I began to comprehend what aligned with my values and what was perpetuating a cycle of self-sabotage. Identifying these limiting behaviors became easier, and I recognized that I needed the courage and willpower to actively shift my patterns. 

When I finally embraced the notion that life is not just about survival and that there are countless ways to experience life’s richness, I seized the opportunity to start truly living. I no longer felt trapped in a singular reality. This shift allowed me to welcome diverse possibilities and opportunities, enabling me to become present rather than constantly searching for what I believed I lacked. I began to live again, genuinely enjoying the reality I was creating. 

So, let me ask you this: are you surviving, or are you truly living?

Z.