Tell your story again

There is a common factor among most people today: trauma. Trauma shows up in many forms and is sometimes misused for conversation or to engage others. However, as Gabor Maté writes, normalizing trauma has become a harmful issue that restricts us to externalizing it instead of understanding it as an event that takes place within us. It is about our reactions and how we process what happened. In my experience, I’ve realized that trauma, in essence — or as Maté explains — can be reshaped and relearned through reprogramming the mind. But how does one do that? I don’t have a perfect answer, but I will share an experience that helped me grasp this idea. Support from loved ones allowed me to shift perspective instead of being trapped in an endless cycle of searching for answers. Recently, I reconnected with my inner child, which was a beautiful experience. I was able to see and revisit past experiences, observing how they happened rather than being swept up and reliving them. It gave me the chance to observe rather than absorb. I did a meditation where I connected with certain scenarios, feeling and reliving the emotions as if I were in that exact moment. I was able to see clearly how I truly felt, rather than listening to others’ voices and stories. I was shocked and confused by how intensely I could relive those scenarios. Yet, someone helped me ground myself again, saying simply, “Just because there is a memory, you don’t need to keep living in it; step aside and observe it for what it is — accept it and let it go.” Stories are often detailed and incomplete, distracting us from reality by focusing on superficialities we convince ourselves are true. The truth resides within our minds, but it’s up to us to be willing to untangle it and accept things as they are. I believe that trauma, especially as it’s been normalized, has become a way for us to accept it within ourselves. Thinking of a life without suffering seems harder than imagining a peaceful life. But this is where reprogramming and reconnecting with our true selves come into play. Maté explains that realizing trauma comes from within gives us a chance for accountability and flexibility to start making changes. But how do we begin without revisiting all the suffering and pain? I think it’s necessary to feel everything we need to feel so we can release it. It’s best to do this in a safe, comfortable space — which is why many turn to guides, mentors, or therapists. However, even with help, it’s we who must face our story; it’s about asking the questions we’re afraid to ask and finding that inner voice silenced by layers and overwhelming perceptions. That’s not to dismiss the support we receive, but to come back to our wholeness — that’s where healing begins. Healing sometimes means unlearning patterns and cycles we’ve convinced ourselves were comforting. When we understand that what once comforted us might be disturbing our peace, we must question whether our current life aligns with who we want to become. So, I ask you: do you feel fulfilled in your life right now? Are you living out of comfort or peace? Do the fears and doubts that surface stem from the stories you tell yourself or from layers that obscure your truth? Have you forgiven yourself for what you couldn’t do or for acting the only way you knew at the time?

Z.