The cycle of incorporating your values

Becoming the best version of yourself doesn't require adding more to your plate, but rather keeping the simplest version of yourself afloat. This means doing things that come naturally to you. Oftentimes, it is easy to overwhelm ourselves with assumptions or ideas of how we should or shouldn't be. We often limit or control our behaviour to the point where we lose sight of who we truly are. This does not mean we should do only one thing; instead, we should guide ourselves based on our core values.

Many times, I have found myself driven to actions for the sake of belonging, seeking acceptance or pleasing those around me so I can adapt to environments, rather than allowing environments to adapt to me. Initially, I would rebel and take things personally when I realized what my values were and what drove me. However, I soon understood that it’s not about making others adapt to you or being the centre of attention, but about understanding how you can align or blend into your environment without losing your sense of self.

I found it challenging to do this, thinking that those around me who did not share the same values (once I identified and clarified them) were simply not in alignment with me. It became too selfish and self-centred to think that similar things should be driving those around. Recognizing this mindset, I knew I had to shift my perspective to one of respect. Respecting others’ differences and understanding that we are all driven by something revealed that we are fundamentally similar. Noticing that we are all different but share common roots allowed me to decide where or who I want to be with—whether staying within my comfort zone or exploring new paths—so I can continue applying my values in various environments and learn from others. It was a beautiful gift to understand that those who are different are teachers for our self-expansion. This realization brought self-awareness of staying grounded while recognizing that differences can complement growth, and expanding inner knowing is powerful. Embracing this idea helped me discover aspects of myself I had not yet realized—an effect of being open to different environments.

There is a cycle in the journey of self-awareness: the initial desire to understand who we are, often beginning with isolating and questioning our surroundings. Then comes curiosity, leading us to explore and sometimes feel startled or uncertain due to the fear of losing our sense of self. But eventually, we reach a stage where we want to tune into our environment—integrating ourselves without feeling the need to change who we are for belonging or adaptation. Instead, we become a fitting piece in the puzzle. This stage tests whether our understanding of ourselves can remain intact without compromising our core principles. Sometimes, we just need to put ourselves out there, test what triggers us or separates us from our true selves, learn from those experiences, and adjust our behaviours and reactions to stay in line with our foundation—thus reprogramming the mind, body, and soul. 

Z.