The narrative you tell identifies who you are

The labels we tend to identify with are likely limiting beliefs that you've convinced yourself of to excuse yourself from reaching your full potential or accomplishing the things you know you're capable of. 

We are born into a blank canvas, embracing and absorbing everything around us, and these experiences are logged in our subconscious. Our behaviours, actions, thoughts, and beliefs start to revolve around our environment; whether we align with it or not, we begin to question or relate to it. 

I have come to understand my mind better, becoming more aware of patterned behaviours and even toxic reactions that I had grown accustomed to. Once I became aware, I felt self-conscious about trying to avoid them or not behaving in certain ways. However, when I limited myself from fully expressing who I was, rather than consciously shifting, I tended to try to control not only my behaviours but also those around me. I found that resisting certain triggers or behaviours isn't about escaping or avoiding things entirely, but about learning how to respond differently. This takes practice and is a gradual process, often with setbacks that require us to recommit as many times as necessary. For this, I found it helpful to ask myself who I want to become; instead of waiting for it to happen, we can choose to embody that version of ourselves. 

Another aspect that helped me understand why I was so fixated on labels wasn't necessarily comparison, but rather a void or scarcity I felt within, due to the excuses I made to avoid achieving what I truly want. I would excuse behaviours and thoughts to try and be more compassionate with myself, practicing self-love. But it became clear the other day that this idea of compassion was just an excuse I was using to avoid progress. It wasn’t about wanting to act that way, but perhaps about acting from fear and doubt about my potential. Recognizing this reaction prompted some shifts. I began questioning how I could show up for myself with compassion, yet without excusing my behaviours or negative thoughts. The first step was to stop falling back into that narrative tied to certain labels I identified with. If that was the case, then I needed to change the narrative and learn how to embody it. 

This came down to the labels I placed—whether I said I was or wasn’t something—I started choosing to identify with different labels that would enable my progress. Sometimes, these actions can feel unfamiliar or even like lying to yourself. But if you begin showing up as the person you want to become—by acting as well as speaking—that can start shifting your environment as well. 

Maybe it’s a bit fuk’d up, but sometimes we need to lie to ourselves until we believe it’s true. And if we choose to lie for the sake of becoming our best selves—by acting in line with our values and focusing on developing them—we start attracting more of what suits that version of us, rather than clinging to who we used to be. To change our story, we need to change the story we tell ourselves. We must become our highest self now, rather than waiting for the perfect moment. Because when is the right time? Why are you waiting to start living the life you want?

Z.