The Two-Sided Coin of Consciousness

As one becomes more aware of themselves, it comes with the realization that other versions and aspects of who we are have a voice as well. And it is interesting, once you get to that point of inner-awareness, to simply observe the dialogue being held between these two characters in our being.

On the one hand, we have the one that is driven by the ego. This voice, or entity, is driven by the external factors that one is surrounded by — it is the one that depends on being identified through the beings that are around us. This can become a main driver in trying to understand who one is, solely because of what others describe you to be.

At some moments, this can be beneficial. If the people around you are honest and have your best interest at heart, that reflection can actually serve you.

But it can also be deceiving. There are people that project their desires, opinions, and perspectives onto you, and that can mislead your own perspective if you don't have a clear sense of self. Eventually, if this occurs repeatedly, it can become somewhat daunting and automated.

There are two aspects to that:

There is the one that is driven by many people, which can be reflected in trying to satisfy or live up to many people's expectations — and that eventually turns into feeling as though you are spreading yourself too thin. And then there is solely relying on the perspective and opinion of one person, which can trigger a codependent relationship. That one can eventually turn into you not trusting your own decision or perspective, and wanting to find a sense of reassurance in that one — or very few — people's opinion or confirmation, just to assume you are going in the right direction.

The other side of the coin is the one we want to lean into and bet on more often than not.

It is the one that accepts things as they are, that is able to separate the other from yourself, but also finds a balance in knowing that you can be motivated by external factors — and that it is not your sole reason to do the things you do. When we are on this side of consciousness, we find ourselves driven and called to also be in a state of centeredness, more rooted in the knowing rather than the assuming. Yet it is also the aspect of consciousness that acknowledges all factors, voices, and perspectives as they are, and still has the agency to choose what does and doesn't resonate with you.

For some time this can be the normal; and it can feel like a relief.

However, there does come a time where the two-sided form of consciousness gets tested.

This is usually determined by being triggered by old habits, patterns, opinions, etc. And needless to say, there is an underlying factor in attempting to dismiss the ego consciousness — which will eventually bite you in the a**.

But this is where the other self consciousness allows you to find that acceptance in knowing that whatever it is that is being presented is merely that: a (re)presentation of one dimension that you need to face, or learn how to accept as separate to you.

So we hold both.

Combining the ego and the self consciousness, we can find a balance in learning to be guided by the self consciousness, and embracing the ego consciousness as a guide to also note when we are relying more on the external confirmation of the reality we are perceiving — rather than trusting 1) the unfolding of our life and reality, and 2) the perspective we have of our own life.

Two sides. Same coin. Both ours to work with.

Z.