Who are you without your labels?

Well, I was limiting myself by placing labels and defining who I was with them. I was not giving room for expansion or change. I felt torn and stuck, thinking that once I identify as something, it must stay that way. I think that is why we assume that the decisions we make are so hard. Maybe it is because we think that the decisions we make will either support the identity we have shared with the world or they will not. Perhaps we have placed too much weight on the idea that there are versions of ourselves that remain intact throughout it all - for those aspects, I would say it mainly comes down to your value system. But the identity is still flexible around those values. 

Then again, why do we assume that we have to live up to certain identities or labels if the point of life is to discover more of who we are through experiences? Why is it that we resort to and conform to certain ways of behaving or living instead of being curious enough to branch out?

I have come to think of two reasons; one of them being the idea that conforming is safe and comfortable, which keeps our lives secure and doubt-free. On the other hand, there is the notion that if we don’t conform, there’s a risk of uncertainty and fear of the unknown.

Either one of these is still somewhat extreme, where we either have a firm understanding of the identity we will live by, or we have no sense of direction and are completely open to exploring everything without attachment. Maybe it is just that, the aspect of attachment and detachment. How much are we willing or wanting to do of either? I believe it is about finding the balance between both. It’s about knowing what your foundation is, the values you identify with, but also having actions flexible enough not to be attached to just one way of doing things, but rather open enough to discover and evolve.

For some time, I feared limiting myself to only acting in one way, or I feared being different from what I shared with the world. It left me constantly questioning and guessing who I truly was. Whether I was resorting to only being around people and moulding myself to adapt, or staying steady in myself and assuming that who I was was completely separate from them. But I only found clarity when I balanced both, and realized that we are all one - each person a piece of the puzzle, yet an individual image. The idea of knowing there’s a flow in how things are creates a sense of belonging in some aspects, while in others, it doesn’t. These elements, these labels if you want to call them that, help us better understand who we are and who we are not - without limiting the notion that we can be everything at once.

There are moments when we show more of certain attributes (call it weakness or strength, good or bad, one version or the other), and other times when we show none at all. This doesn’t mean we are defined by one thing or not at all by another. It’s more than the instances, environments, and surroundings we find ourselves in that allow some parts of ourselves to be more visible than others. That’s why we can say we have different versions of ourselves, and as we age, we might think we will stay the same. But I believe these different versions also show how adaptable and flexible we are to the circumstances around us. So maybe it’s more about questioning: how do you want to be? What do you want to surround yourself with? How do you want to define yourself right now? (Remember that definitions of concepts may vary depending on context.)

Z.