What cat did curiosity kill?

We live to create, to express, to love. But how do we reach the point where we feel so disconnected from that beauty that motivates us to keep living this way?

There are nuances along our paths that take us in unfamiliar ways, and we encounter uncharted territory. These can make us feel unalive in some way, or maybe too alive, to say the least. The emotions that stir within us when faced with the adversity of change often scare us, yet we remain excited about it. But there comes a time when that change — which we had been hoping for — arrives, and suddenly we want to look back to what was familiar.

They say that curiosity killed the cat… I think, in this case, the cat is the version of ourselves we once were.

How is it then that we are so afraid of this new beginning when we seek expansion and exploration? It may be the fear of losing what we once were, or maybe detaching ourselves from what we once clung to. But how can that be the duality that lives within us? How can it be that we seek change, yet depend on familiarity and comfort to stay the same? Perhaps this is where the conflict lies — in the desperation to know what the future holds, to have a predictable outcome or to be in control of our actions to shape the future. Or maybe it’s the opposite: knowing and exploring our past allows us to grow and become wary of what has occurred, yet we find that our selves are no longer what they once were, which reveals this internal separation. But there’s another aspect that comes to mind: not only change, but the assumption that if we do change, everything else will also change. And that, right there, is fearful — at least for those who have yet to understand that everything, in its entirety, will continue to change until it doesn’t (which is likely never).

So, what do we do with this internal duality? Is it simply acceptance and being present? If it were that easy, wouldn’t we all do it to resolve the inner conflict? I think there’s more to it. Despite its simplicity, we are — at the end of the day — complex beings.

So how can such simplicity of just being be so easy to attain? I believe that the aspect we seek to achieve is the authenticity that lies in accepting that everything is ever-changing, and that nothing is truly part of us, yet everything still exists within us. From this perspective, we might also say that maybe the only true control we have is over ourselves (which we’ve heard countless times). If that’s the case, then why not simply let things unfold naturally?

Well, some aspects of life require our initial effort, while others demand we do nothing at all. I believe this understanding comes from first learning more about ourselves, the kinks and tricks within each of us that reveal what we are capable of, and what we are not. Recognizing our limitations and strengths is the first step to dismantling the cumbersome idea that we are nothing, yet everything; we are no one, yet everyone.

The question then becomes: who are you? And perhaps, taking it further, which present do you want to live in — by present, I mean, which timeline?

Z.