When letting go becomes growth

I was having a conversation with someone recently, and the topic of the "Let Them" Theory by Mel Robbins came up. This dialogue opened up an exploration of what we truly mean when we say “Let Them.” On one hand, it can refer to simply letting go of what isn’t meant for you. However, there is another layer: the idea of “forgiving, but not forgetting.” This idea led us to question what it really means to let go. There are many ways to explain the act of letting go, but when dealing with difficult emotions, we often find justified reasons to hold on. The aspect of releasing what you cannot control seems clear — letting go of external factors or things separate from ourselves is more straightforward. But what happens when it comes to relationships? What do we face during a breakup, a lost friendship, or the struggle to maintain a connection with someone when the relationship has faded and feels forced? Our conversation highlighted two ways to let go, both involving forgiveness and moving on. One approach is focused on removing a leaf or stem to allow the plant to continue to grow, while the other requires removing the plant entirely from the root to make space for new growth.

I've had a few experiences in which I've questioned my ability to let go and move forward. In some situations, a simple act of forgiveness allowed for progress in the relationship. This process revealed important lessons about the boundaries and factors that define what is or isn’t important in a relationship. However, I've also had relationships where trust was broken. I attempted to be friends again, but no matter how hard I tried or how much I forced myself to overlook the betrayal, I couldn't rekindle the trust, connection, or even the friendship. I was then faced with the decision of whether to continue forcing a relationship built on mistrust or to let go, grieve it, and ultimately move on. I explored both paths, and it was the latter that enabled me to take a step forward and learn from the experience.

When reflecting on the idea of forgiveness, I acknowledge that it’s easier said than done. There is a profound meaning to what forgiveness entails. While I could delve deeply into this topic, this article is not only about forgiveness; it’s about following your heart and recognizing the best ways to let go to foster personal growth. With that in mind, I invite you to consider: How can you take a step toward forgiving and letting go of something you’ve been holding onto? Do you believe there is a grudge you’re still clinging to, perhaps as a way to force a relationship that isn't meant to be? Could it be that sometimes, you need to release things, people, or places that no longer serve you to grow? Might holding on to a grudge prevent you from embarking on a journey of self-discovery? Is complacency truly preferable to uncertainty? 

I encourage you to reflect on these questions as you navigate your path towards self-discovery and growth. Embracing change can be both daunting and liberating, but it often leads to the most profound transformations.

Z.