Instant answers or Compassionate trust?

We doubt our capacity to trust our instincts and to trust ourselves in finding the answers we know are true for us. We seek those answers elsewhere, creating a dependency on the people around us, or even on what we see online, to tell us whether we are or aren’t doing the right thing. But why do we have this desire to constantly know if we are headed in the right direction? Why do we seek constant reassurance that we are or are not doing the right thing? I don’t think we just seek this reassurance from the people around us, especially now that we have social media telling us what we should be doing, and AI offering instant, therapy-like conversations.

I have been in both scenarios – seeking reassurance from people and from the media – which has often taken me into spirals. When I seek that external reassurance, it’s because I find myself, on one hand, comparing, and on the other hand, thinking that what I might choose to do is not necessarily right or good because of internal self-doubt. It is a cycle I have caught myself in many times, but now I am approaching it differently, slowly peeling away the reasons for these desires.

We tend to distract ourselves, scrolling endlessly when we know there is something on our mind that is bothering us. But where does this distraction really lead us? I understand that taking your mind off things can bring a sense of relief, but is it truly helpful if you’re doing it in a way that only gives you more reasons to doubt yourself? We put ourselves in a state where we find more and more reasons to question whether what we are doing is good for us, by constantly looking at all the “how to,” “you should,” or “here’s the best way you can…” content. The advice we get is often based on personal experience, and we must take it with a grain of salt.

I think a big part of wanting to share advice is the desire to share what helped us grow. Just as I do with my writing – wanting to help others through my personal experiences – I think others also want to share their tips and tricks, the things that have helped them, to create that sense of relatability, especially if they have gone through a turning-point moment in their life.

We are here to share the wisdom we gain, and I think it used to be easier to digest this wisdom and to try things out to see whether they did or did not work for us. But just like the rapid spread of news and trends on social media and everyday life, the same is true for all the concepts we learn about how to become the best version of ourselves (in whatever way). This rapid spread of updates on how to be something or someone leads to a kind of instability that can create inner confusion and inconsistency in how we approach life. We end up feeling more bombarded and overwhelmed, as well as more doubtful about what truly works for us, because we lack the discipline and consistency to genuinely try things, instead of trying something once and then immediately moving on to the next.

Just like the dynamic of instant gratification – the instant reward we get with consumption – we want the same effect in our personal lives: in our relationships, our physical well-being, and any other area you can think of. Yet there is a quiet beauty that can come from simply being, and from trusting the unfolding of the process without feeling the constant need to try new things. There is beauty in trusting that you know yourself well enough to guide yourself through life.

What if, for any aspect of life you choose to work or focus on – where you are seeking guidance or advice – you allowed yourself to trust your own instinct without seeking external input? What if you let yourself take full accountability and responsibility (embracing whatever consequences might occur) and simply allowed yourself to be human? Give yourself a chance to trust the advice that you give yourself – not based on fear or doubt, but from following what really aligns and feels right to you.

Z.