The imaginary barrier

We have heard of the analogy of carrying baggage from the past and simply removing it or dropping it instead of taking it with us. But this analogy only brushes the surface of truly facing or dealing with your past that you somehow cannot leave behind, or that resurfaces in a patterned way. What if instead we think of the past as an elastic tied around us and our past? 

Imagine this elastic representing a barrier or pulling beyond the past, or the narrative we have grasped onto of our past. It is as though we create this imaginary circle or barrier between us and what is beyond what we have gone through. As I have said in a previous article, it is the narrative that we hold onto that defines who we are. But this narrative becomes a limitation to what we can become or dream of – the possibility of going beyond what we are familiar with. 

This elastic, if we are faced with it, tends to trigger one of two responses: fight or flight. When we are fighting with it, we can imagine the elastic being pulled to the point of tension and possible breakage, making us stumble, but not truly facing what we have gone through, which is one option. The other is seeing the elastic as a barrier after we have fallen and knowing the possible outcome, so we instead stay put. We remain within the elastic barrier, allowing it to control us, and not the other way around. These two scenarios might resonate with you when trying to deal with your past and wanting to run away from it, or staying stuck in it. 

However, what if there is another response to this limiting elastic that surrounds us? What if instead we give ourselves a chance to look at it, see that it is there, and accept that it is merely the elastic, not us? If we can separate the two things in this scenario, the imaginary barrier and ourselves, we can see that we have control. We come to accept that an elastic is there, and we can simply step out of it. 

It is normal to feel fear when thinking beyond what you are familiar with, which is understandable. But seeing beyond what we are accustomed to is a chance to dream again and believe that there is something beyond what we can see. For this, it is fun to use the aspect of play, of childlike dreaming and imagination, and let ourselves just believe in the possibilities once again. 

When we see the separation of two events or two things, we regain control of our narrative and understand that stepping into something different, even if scary, might actually give us a chance to return to that aspect of ourselves we feel we have lost. It may not be easy, because it will require courage and compassion. Being in a position to step into the uncertainty and step away from the familiar discomfort. With this comes the reframing of the narrative you recounted and reprogramming certain aspects that might have left you stuck in the past.

If that elasticity reappears, you may experience similar reactions and triggers. However, once you become aware of the possibility of breaking free from this barrier, you can regain control of your life. Wouldn't that be nice? Is the idea of positively transforming these patterns something you are willing to explore? Are you courageous enough to allow your dreams—though uncertain—to unfold?

Z.